Repeated thoughts

You've been scarred, we know this.
In time, scars will heal.
But they won't disappear.
You will get over it, but won't forget it.
Don't expect to.
You have to get over it in order to live your life the way you should be living it.
Without severe heart pain...
The reason why these scars will always be with you is so that you have to learn from what you've gone through.
To not make those same mistakes again. Don't make them again.

Your case is bad, but don't think you are the only one who has gone through this. You aren't alone.
I haven't gone through it, so all this is in third person.
But I've seen in before. Seen others in similar situations.

You have scars on top of one another.
That is why it's so hard for you.
You get hurt again before you are even healed.
Each consecutive cut gets worse and worse.
This doesn't mean you're dead.
This doesn't mean you're lost.
This just means you need to take a step back.
And it will take more time for those scars to heal.
I can see you trying and progressing (in some ways)
And not (in others)

Do you remember the type of people who hurt you? Back off from them.
Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't, but
Learn to say no. It is okay to say no.
I know I can only do so much to help you.
But I'd like to see you through.
This is something you have to get by on your own...you know this..

I can distract you. (whether good or bad, I'm not sure)
And I can show you a good time.
But until your scars are healed, that is really all I can offer.
That is all I WANT to offer right now.
Even if sometimes I think I may want more...
I can't. You can't.
We already know this.

Maybe I don't mean much to you. Or that I am very significant in your life yet.
But I'm not the one you should back away from. So don't
:)

Tyler's Mix Tape

I have a new blog where I am going to only put collections of writings. I just found a whole bunch of old stuff I wrote so I think I will post it up there. Follow my love stories
http://tylersmixtape.blogspot.com/

To Everyone:

I really am not one to turn the holidays into a ridiculously sappy time. I actually do not like that at all. I hate that this is a time to be thankful, but you should ALWAYS be thankful for the things you have. Its like valentines day, why have one day to be EXTRA nice and lovable? Why not love them extra everyday?

Anyway... I am going to be a hypocrite and say thank you to all my friends. Thanks for caring, thanks for making me laugh. I love you
My family doesn't read these, but I love them too.
I am thankful for the deep people. The caring people. The GOOD people in this world and the good people I have come into contact with. Past. and PRESENT.

SO happy Thanksgiving loves!

What if

There was a time when I asked for this. I was bored, lonely, restless..And for faar too long I might add. I needed something to experience in the terms of romance. I was happy to focus on work and school. (For a while at least).. I missed my friends and my family. (And still do)
What I wanted was something to occupy my free time. Something other than entertaining myself... That is what made me happy, but I realized I needed someone new to get involved with. Maybe it is fair to say I wanted to "spice things up" a bit.

I have never been afraid to get involved with someone new, I was just very satisfied with being alone. No one worth my time has come along that I was willing to make an effort for. Sure, there has been interests, but nothing more.

That is until recently. It was very friendly with a crush in both directions...nothing more. Cuddling was what we anticipated, and that was fine..We never spoke of intimacy or dating or romanticizing. I felt that it was possible, or, it was possible on my end at least. We met and it took a couple days to get over the shyness. "Why are you so cute and shy? Am I the only one you are like this with?" Who knows...

We hung out almost everyday. Once we were comfortable around each other, it was amazing. I honestly could not stop smiling for a week and half. Was this what I have been waiting for for almost two years? Maybe this is someone I that can build up my confidence again.

Fuck, shot down. That is usually how it goes.. This time I was ready though! This is what I wanted. This is what I want. Sure, we have a ways to go. You say you aren't ready for this, and that is fine. I won't pressure you. But why not give it a chance? You didn't even give me a chance. Your back story is shitty, and I am sorry you went through that. But let me be someone that can help. What you need is to be treated right. What you need is a REAL emotional connection. A GOOD one!

I wasn't afraid this time, and that is why it sucks.

Just know that I can stop whenever you want to stop. I can go whenever you want to go. I have that freedom. I have all the freedom in the world right now! I want to help. And I know you don't want help. Not from me.. But I am still here, and not going anywhere. So why not use me? I consider myself strong. I can get through anything. I have the greatest friends and the best family I could ask for. That is all I need... But not all I want...

I don't care about broken hearts. I don't care about moving on. I don't care about depression. I care about you. I care about an experience.
What if I'm different? What if you can change? What if this is what you need?
What if we never find out? That is what I am worried about..

"WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY"

Hands Down

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

My stomache feels funny

Everyday I wake up, feeling unrested and queasy.
There are no words to describe the feeling deep within me
It is a lot like love but its only lust for it, without the fears.
Lust for her.
And it is not at first site because it feels like that too.
Boys give me a bad name
I am unlike any other, I will do things right.
She gives girls a good name
she is unlike any other, she will treat me right.

Fall

This is one of my favorite pictures I have taken.

This Feeling

I walk alone in the dark, in the rain.
It is so peaceful, the sprinkles on my face.
Even though I am alone, I feel so loved, and so welcome in this world.
I cannot explain the feeling in my stomache. It is almost a split instance of wanting to vomit. But in a good way? As much as I want to share this feeling, it is so personal, and that is what is so amazing (and irritating) about feelings. Its a feeling of wanting to breathe you in. And to obsorb everything about you.
I know so much about everything, yet, when I think about what I know, I feel like I know nothing. Sometimes knowing nothing, is better than knowing at all.

Sometimes, I am led to believe my favorite artists steal my words. It is so upsettingly amazing.

One Week

This isn't about a single person. I just created a story from bunch of thoughts I had collected on paper. The end

It's been FIVE YEARS since I last felt this way.
Why must my stomach drop even when you have nothing to say?
Even after we part, your presence still lingers as if you were still in the room.
I'm not one of those creeps,
I'm playing for keeps.
Should I let my guard down? Should I give you my heart?
Is that really what you want? Or is this just a fling waiting to fall apart?
Sometimes you tell me you like me,
Sometimes I think you can't stand me.

Sorry if I'm smothering you.
I can't get enough of you.
I just want to be with you.

I hear all these voices in my mind,
All these words I can't unwind,
The fact that this is wrong is all I can find..

It's been ONE WEEK since our first words
I wondered why they sounded like the song of morning birds.
You told me we would fall for each other, I told you anything could happen.
I didn't believe it myself,
I wasn't even sure you did yourself.
I told myself it was just another girl.
A girl that wouldn't be able to make my mind swirl..
I'm consumed in the first time you were too busy to talk.
I lost my balance, I could hardly walk.
I thought I was a fool for no one.
But baby, I'm a fool for you.


It's been THREE DAYS since I first saw your face.
You were like an angel gliding with perfect grace.
The anticipation was high, and I wasn't really sure why.
I saw you walk towards me, as I waited in my car.
My heart dropped, you shinned like a star.

We talk as if we have known each other for years,
We left behind all our fears.
I thought I gave up on giving in,
but that smile sucks me in and leaves me speechless.
Every single time, I'm rendered completely breathless
I'm going through withdrawals for that one night we spent together.
I wish it could have lasted forever.

We weren't meant to be, but babe, I'd like to wait and see...
Because when I'm with you I feel so free.

I'm terrible at this..
I know you can tell I'm terrible at this..

This is how it be

I am going to write whatever is on my mind, I am going to share some of my stupid "poetry" and other random words I write down on little scraps of paper... I am going to share videos, lyrics, and anything I damn well please. Therefore, if you want to keep tabs on what is going on in the fantastical mind of Tyler Scott Carlson, you should probably subscribe or bookmark or what-the-fuck-ever. Most of you probably don't really care, SO this is pretty much just for me. It is a way to talk to someone, without really talking to someone!

It's about time Tyler gets on the blog train. Hop on