A day late friend is all I will ever be

I'm tired of this empty feeling.
Tired of trembling like an earthquake Every time I think of you.
About how you don't see us existing.
Like my non existent appetite.
And a good nights sleep that never comes.

Broken hearts, they turn to wine.
I promised myself I will be fine.

It is you I am worried about.
Always running back to your zone of comfort.
Before you fucking learn something.

All you know is breaking hearts.
I said it was okay and I'm learning from that.
Mistakes I've made,
I believe they were worth every moment.

But you made a fool of me.
You said you cared.
I can't believe I trusted you
even though I had a feeling deep down,
that you don't. (correct me if I'm wrong)

I always let them win.
You smile, and I feel like throwing up.
My heart races like a clock,
but it never wins.

I continue to be a day late friend

Comfort Zone and Learning Edge

Comfort Zone: We all have zones of comfort about different topics or activities. Topics or information we are very familiar with or have lots of information about are solidly inside our comfort zone. When we are inside our comfort zone we are not challenged and we are not learning anything new. When we are focused on new information or awareness, or the information and awareness we have is being challenged, we are often out of our comfort zone or on its edge. If we are too far outside our comfort zone, we tend to withdraw or resist new information.
Learning Edge: When we are on the edge of our comfort zone, we are in the best place to expand
our understanding, take in a new perspective, and stretch our awareness. We can learn to recognize when we are on a learning edge by paying attention to our internal reactions. A learning edge is characterized by feelings of annoyance, anger, anxiousness, surprise, confusion, or defensiveness. These reactions are signs that our way of seeing things is being challenged. If we retreat to our comfort zone, by dismissing whatever we encounter that does not agree with our way of seeing the world, we lose an opportunity to expand our understanding. The challenge is to recognize the learning edge and stay there with the discomfort to see what we can learn.